Before becoming a mom I was an elementary PE teacher and coach. It was a high energy job with long hours. I left my house about 6:30 everyday and got home around 6:30-7 everyday, and if I had a game it was more like 9 or 10. BUT I LOVED MY JOB. It was perfect for me. I felt like I was in my element.Yet, I get asked often which is harder, being a mom or a teacher? Both equally have their things. As a coach I was physically exhausted everyday. My feet hurt at the end of everyday and I slept like a rock. As a mom it's more exhausting mentally, but physically at times too(especially with boys:)). The moment I became a mom that rock hard sleeping stopped. Seriously, I can hear my baby breathing a little loudly, a cough, or even a little whimper in the middle of the night. But without a doubt being a mom is harder. There are no days off, no off periods, no lunch breaks and at the end of the day you don't send the kids home. I went home and could do whatever I wanted. When I had Carter I truly felt lost. One, because he sleeps like Bret and he never woke up the first three months of his life, but I was at home all day. I used to be home only to sleep. I had finally starting getting a little used to it and then God led us to move to Houston. It was so clear to us to move it would of been nothing but disobedience if we had not followed.
The only place Bret and I had ever known together. Where we met, got married, all our friends were, my mom friends( which are like gold I found out), and our first home. I felt alone. I missed everything about New Braunfels. I remember Bret and I both talking about how we missed home. So, I thought maybe going back to work would help. Something part time. Make me feel more apart of something, or just have someone to talk to. But the thought of not being there when Carter woke up from his nap , or missing a milestone, or flat out just missing him didn't feel right. So I prayed and I prayed more.We moved in October and by January things were looking up. We found a great church, starting meeting people and had found out we were pregnant. We were so excited. Then a few weeks later we lost that baby. It was hard. But God still was working on Bret and I in different ways. I was finally able to get back into bible study fellowship that January( it had been full when I tried to transfer from New Braunfels to here) and also got into a women's study group at my church and met some of the most incredible moms. Really, I mean if I could just morph myself into each of them that would be awesome. I learned so much from those ladies. I still learn so much from them. They were so real about being a mom. I never knew other moms struggled? I thought I was the only mom out there who thought" there is no way I can do this"? That Spring of 2011 my life changed. I've never thanked God so much for taking me through the hard. It was incredible. At the end of that semester we had our second little blessing coming. That same month Bret went to a class in Atlanta to become a certified grand opener. Which in a nutshell meant he would be gone a lot for a few months that fall. God knew if I would of had a baby that fall, Bret would of been gone.He knew he would finish up months of being gone and then in January our sweet baby would come. God is always right on time.Staying at home with my kids is the best decision I have ever made. It took awhile, but some days I may feel like this is my element now. Well, a little;) I truly love it. I hope the words on these pages and the stories encourage someone who may struggle with the same thing. Carter is almost 3. Two more years and he will be gone more of the day than he is at home. I want to have every little moment to hug, kiss and teach these boys while I am able.
Carter, our head full of hair baby and Tucker, our little bald baby:)
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